Look, I know where you guys are coming from. You’re out here hustling a buck like the rest of us, you got nerve, you got ca-joanies, I appreciate that. Now you appreciate this: take that damn chopper down off your web page or I’ll use it to sprinkle your ca-joanies on my hot fudge sundae.

I mean, come on. You think you’re fooling anybody with this “Chop & Grate Set”? You stick the carrots or the onion or whatever the hell in the little circle, you slap it, it chops. You guys even throw in the little cheese grater. I mean, come on. Don’t crap on my rye toast and tell me it’s tuna fish, all right? Tell you this, I’m not just going to sit here while you guys undercut my prices. You think you’re real smart doubling everybody’s order and being all upfront about the shipping charges, huh? Don’t make me remind you what happened to the last guy who tried to sell a chopper like this. You seen him on TV lately, huh? One slap at a time, that’s all I’m saying.

Look, I’m not a bad guy. You wanna be friends, I’m all kisses. But you bite me and here come the slaps. I go nuts. And you’re not gonna love me nuts. So think long and hard about how quickly and finely and easily and violently this chopper reduces meat to shreds. You following me, camera guy?

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Chopper Features:

• Chops fruits, vegetables, nuts, cheese, herbs, ice, and just about anything that will fit within a 3 inch diameter
• Cutting blades rotate with each press for maximum power and performance
• 3 inch self contained base allows for easy chopping with or without a cutting board
• Dishwasher safe blades and parts open up for easy cleaning
• Chopper dimensions: 11” tall 3” diameter

Grater Features:

• Large and small size grater screens included
• Screens attach with cotter pin for easy swapping and cleaning
• Easy to use: Place cheese inside grater, push and turn cheese through grater with lid stopper
• Great for salads, omelettes or quesadillas
• Place next to the salt and pepper at the dinner table
• Grater dimensions: 6” tall 3” diameter
• Dishwasher safe blades and parts open up for easy cleaning

Additional Photos:

• Chop and Grate Set
• Chopper Disassembled
• Grater Disassembled
• Apple Chopped with the Chopper

In the box:

• 2 Choppers
• 2 Graters
• 2 Chopping Cups
• 2 Large and Small Grating Screens