It’s got a lousy beat and you can’t dance to it. If the city sounds so great, why are all these people running around with MP3 players? Why is “I Gotta Feeling” the top iTunes download right now? Forget about the city sounding better than your favorite band. The city can’t even beat the Black-Eyed Peas.

Clearly, cities should be lived in and not heard. So plug up your noise-holes with these Philips Noise Canceling Earbuds. No, they won’t drown out that bone saw or that trombone or those howler monkeys – what is your neighbor doing up in that apartment, anyway? But they’re great for muffling the nonspecific hum that arises when you cram millions of people, machines, and animals together.

And like John Candy, they’re at their best in planes, trains, and automobiles. Even the most hushed, ethereal acoustic elegy will come through loud and clear, thanks to compact noise-canceling electronics that Philips says will reduce unwanted ambient noise by 70%. Our tests reveal it’s more like 67%, which would upset us if we weren’t totally lying about running our own tests.

So drown out as much of the urban cacophony as your preferred killer jams can handle. The Philips Noise Canceling Earbuds will take care of the rest. But keep your eyes open and your wits about you – one of those buses you’re not hearing might be headed right at you.

Warranty: 1 Year Philips

Features:

• Compact electronics reduce unwanted external noise by 70%
• Enjoy soft music on flights and in trains and similar places without hearing a distracting buzz in the background
• Creates a perfect seal for perfect sound and significantly reduces unwanted background noise
• Enjoy music with or without the noise canceling feature enabled
• Designed to wear in front  or around your neck for convenience
• Split cable design from noise canceling module to ear buds with adjustable sliding grommet
• Sliding grommet for adjustable cable tension around neck
• Small noise canceling control box makes bulky control boxes unnecessary
• Sliding On/Off switch on noise canceling module
• 3.5” adapter connects to all types of audio devices
• A 60” long cable that is ideal for outdoor use

Sound:

• Acoustic system: Open
• Active noise attenuation: 50-1500 Hz, >10 dB at 300 Hz
• Diaphragm: Mylar dome
• Frequency response: 40 – 20,000 Hz
• Impedance: 72 Ohm at 1 kHz 72 Ohm
• Magnet type: Neodymium
• Maximum power input: 15 mW
• Noise canceling effect: ~10 dB at 300 Hz
• Sensitivity: 102 dB
• Speaker diameter: 9 mm
• Type: Dynamic
• Voice coil: Copper
• Power: One AAA Battery (Included)

Connectivity:

• Connector: 3.5 mm stereo
• Finishing of connector: Chrome-plated
• Type of cable: OFC

Product Dimensions:

• Overall Cable length (including in-line noise canceling module): 60”
• In-line noise canceling module: 3”(L) X 1 1/2”(H) X 3/4”(D)
• Cable length from module to plug: 25”
• Cable length from module to ear buds: 32”

Additional Pictures:

• Philips SHN2500 Active Noise Canceling Headphones
• Grommett Adjusts Cable Tension
• In-Line Noise Canceling Module
• On/Off Switch on Noise Canceling Module

In the box:

• Philips SHN2500 Noise Canceling Headphones
• Philips Powerlife AAA Ultra Alkaline Battery

First of all, NO, they’re NOT REFURBISHED, ha ha ha. Tell you what they are, though. They’re indispensable weapons in the war on tooth decay.

Now, as everybody knows, hygiene is the home front on which the fight for public decency is waged. No one can be wholesome of character whose hair is matted, whose clothes are stained, and whose armpits stink like artisanal goat cheese on its second day in the sun. The body is the temple of the soul. Especially the temples. The temples are the temples of the temple of the soul. So keep your temples really clean.

On the flip side, a person who is scrupulous about personal cleanliness basically cannot help but achieve moral righteousness as a side effect. It’s true! And where better to start a bodily rehab project than in that fetid, plaque-caked germ-sauna you call your mouth?

Your new Oral B power toothbrushes use “advanced sonic technology” to scrub the fuzzy bacterial carpeting off your sandwich-mashers with angled CrissCross bristles that work at nearly 20,000 pulsations per minute. That’s a lot of brush-a-brush-a!

Face it, you just don’t have the elbow grease to match that pace the old-fashioned way, and why even try? What are you, some kind of oral hygienic analog of John Henry? You can’t fight technology, dude.

No, when you’re faced with an advanced piece of tooth-cleaning, gum-stimulating machinery like this, there’s only one reasonable reaction. That’s to stick it directly into your mouth and start in a-working on the foul, fermenting bits of food adhering to the choppers therein.

Yes, your transformation from sick, filthy deviant to upstanding citizen starts with the simple cleansing of surface stains and gristlewads from your meal-grinders. But it culminates in the total purification of your moral being. You see, there’s a good person in you somewhere. But no one can tell, given the nasty state of that person’s teeth.

Oh! Almost forgot to tell you—the packaging for these items is printed in Japanese and English. So, uh… you can work on your Japanese while you brush. Consider it another opportunity for self-improvement.

Warranty: One Year Manufacturer

Features:

• Uses advanced sonic technology to drive CrissCross bristle nearly 20,000 times per minute
• Reduces plaque effectively
• Removes surface stains for whiter teeth
• Helps you brush for two minutes

Rechargeable Vitality Handle

• Sustained rechargeable cleaning power
• A full charge lasts up to five days
• Charge time based on two 2 minute brushes per day
• Ergonomic handle and rubberized grip for comfort and control
• Two-minute timer pulsates to signal brushing time
• Includes Charging Base with Two-Prong Plug

Sonic Brush Head

• Angled CrissCross bristles clean teeth and stimulate gums
• Power Tip bristles are extra long to reach difficult areas
• Indicator bristles fade to let you know when to replace your brush head
• Extra soft brisles are extremely gentle on teeth and gums
• Each replacement brush head hygienically sealed for convenient storage

Additional Photos:

• Oral B Vitality Power Toothbrush
• Oral B Vitality Power Toothbrush in Charging Base
• Oral B Vitality Power Toothbrush Head
• Oral B Vitality Power Toothbrush Packaging
• Oral B Vitality Power Replacement Heads
• Oral B Vitality Power Replacement Heads Packaging
• Oral B Vitality Power Replacement Heads Individually Packed

In the box:

• 2 Braun Oral B Vitality Power Toothbrushes with Charger Bases
• 2 Two Packs of Braun Oral B Vitality Replacement Toothbrush Heads

Quick! In here, before they see you! Hide behind this gigantic Philips 52” TV. Crouch down so they can’t see the top of your head. I know, it’s cramped, but not as cramped as some other big-screen TVs. There, there. That’s good. You should be safe there, at least until they bring out the bloodhounds.

Now, just keep quiet and lay low and you might get out of this yet. If anybody starts snooping around, chances are they’ll be distracted by the ultra-sharp 1080p HD picture on the huge 52” LCD screen. Hell, with that 2ms response time and 33000:1 contrast ratio, they might even think they’re looking out a window. I’ll turn on the HD Natural Motion, too, although it makes the motion so smooth it doesn’t look exactly real, either. But a fugitive can’t be choosy.

You holding drugs? If so, I’d stash ‘em in the 4 HDMI ports right now. Or under the stand. Yeah, it comes with a stand.

Who am I? Just a good Samaritan. Somebody who enjoys sticking it to the man. Somebody who sells TVs. You didn’t think this was free, did you? Now, I can get paid the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is, you buy this Philips 52” TV. As for the hard way, well… there is a reward out on you, right?

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 90 Day Philips

Features:

• Perfect Pixel HD Engine for unrivalled sharpness and clarity
• Full HD LCD display, with a 1920×1080p resolution
• HD Natural Motion for ultra smooth motion in Full HD movies
• 120Hz Clear LCD, 2ms performance for superb motion sharpness
• Invisible speakers with incredible surround
• Dolby Digital output for connection to a home theatre system
• 30 watt with BBE for powerful sound and great voice clarity
• 4 HDMI inputs for full digital HD connection in one cable
• EasyLink: easy control of TV & connected device via HDMI CEC
• Settings assistant for effortless personalized TV settings
• ATSC & QAM tuner receives over the air and unscrambled cable

Additional Photos:

• Philips 52PFL7403D\F7 52” 1080p 120Hz HDTV
• Rear Audio Video Ports
• Side Audio Video Ports
• Side Controls
• Remote Control

Picture/Display:

• Aspect ratio: Widescreen
• Brightness: 500 cd/m²
• Dynamic screen contrast: 33000:1
• Response time (typical): 2 ms
• Viewing angle: 160º (H) / 160º (V)
• Diagonal screen size: 52 inch / 132 cm
• Visible screen diagonal (inch): 52.04 inch
• Panel resolution: 1920×1080p
• Picture enhancement: Pixel Plus 3 HD, 3/2 – 2/2 motion pull down, 3D Combfilter, Active Control + Light sensor, Dynamic contrast enhancement, Progressive Scan, 120Hz LCD, HD Natural Motion

Supported Display Resolutions:
Computer formats

• 640×480
• 800×600
• 1024×768
• 1280×768
• 1280×1024
• 1360×768
• 1920×1080i
• 1920×1080p

Video formats

• 480i
• 480p
• 720p
• 1080i
• 1080p

Sound:

• Equalizer: 5-bands
• Output power (RMS): 30W
• Sound Enhancement: Incredible Surround
• Sound System: Dolby Digital (AC-3), BBE
• Built-in speakers: 4

Convenience:

• Child Protection: Child Lock+Parental Control
• Clock: On main display, Sleep Timer
• Ease of Installation: Autostore
• Ease of Use: 4 favorite lists, Auto Volume Leveller (AVL), Channel list, Settings assistant Wizard, Side Control
• Remote Control: TV
• Screen Format Adjustments: 4:3, Auto Format, Movie expand 14:9, Movie expand 16:9, Super Zoom, Widescreen, unscaled (1080p dot by dot)

Multimedia Applications:

• Multimedia connections: USB memory class device
• Playback Formats: MP3, JPEG Still pictures
• Playback enhancement: Picture slideshow

Tuner/Reception/Transmission:

• Aerial Input: 75 ohm F-type
• TV system: ATSC, NTSC
• Video Playback: NTSC
• Cable: Unscrambled Digital Cable -QAM
• Tuner bands: Hyperband, S-Channel, UHF, VHF

Connectivity:

• AV 1: Audio L/R in, YPbPr
• AV 2: Audio L/R in, YPbPr
• AV 3: CVBS in, S-Video in
• HDMI 1: HDMI v1.3
• HDMI 2: HDMI v1.3
• HDMI 3: Analog audio L/R in, HDMI v1.3
• EasyLink (HDMI-CEC): One touch play, Power status, System info (menu language), System standby
• Front / Side connections: HDMI v1.3, S-video in, CVBS in, Audio L/R in, Headphone out, USB
• Audio Output – Digital: Coaxial (cinch)

Power:

• Ambient temperature: 5 °C to 40 °C
• Mains power: 110-240V, 50-60Hz
• Power consumption: 350 W
• Standby power consumption: < 1 W

Dimensions:

• Set dimensions in inch (W x H x D): 51.24×31.40×4.55 inch
• Set dimensions with stand in inch (W x H x D): 51.24×34.17×12.80 inch
• Weight incl. Packaging (lb): 116.84
• Product weight (lb): 101.4 (with stand), 83.8 (without stand)
• VESA wall mount compatible: 400×400 mm

In the box:

• Philips 52PFL7403D\F7 52” 1080p 120Hz HDTV
• Stand
• Power Cable
• Remote Control

Inset photo credit: Jennifurr-Jinx