When in the electronics store, Jerkface uses all his money to buy a top of the line iPhone for himself! But Valiant wisely gets a V-Touch 16GB Portable Media Player, and saves all that money to buy Christmas presents for others, like his cousin and grandmother.

When they get home, Jerkface has a lot of trouble playing his collection of WMA files, as the iPhone won’t support them. But Valiant knows his V-Touch 16GB Portable Media Player can handle WMAs, MP3s, WAVs, AVIs, MP4s, AACs, and even 3GP! There’s also a recorder built right in so he can make voice memos!

Later, they go to visit their grandmother at the nursing home, and she wants to hear Christmas music on the radio. Jerkface has no radio in his iPhone, so he says no. To his grandmother. On Christmas. Thankfully, Valiant has a FM radio built into his V-Touch 16GB Portable Media Player. He also has a 2.0 Megapixel Digital Camera that can handles still photos, as well as video. And he can also view JPG, GIF and BMP so he can show his grandmother cute photos of the family. Plus he can read an eBook, or use his V-Touch 16GB Portable Media Player as a mass storage device. So he and grandmother have a lovely visit.

At home, the brothers find they’ve had a visitor! Their cousin is so happy with Valiant’s gift, he’s left them a MiniSD card (not included) full of music! Jerkface has no way to add it to his iPhone, so he doesn’t even bother to say thank you. But Valiant uses the MiniSD slot built into his V-Touch 16GB Portable Media Player, and writes a lovely thank you note as he listens. He even mails it right away!

Later that night, the boys are hungry, and want to call for a pizza. Valiant knows his V-Touch 16GB Portable Media Player simply can’t work as a phone no matter what, so he doesn’t worry about it. He stays calm, and just makes a salad. But Jerkface thinks his iPhone will connect to the network. Oh, is he surprised! He waits and waits and never gets a signal, because the network is total crap! He gets so mad! It takes years off his life! And he never even gets that pizza! He goes to bed so hungry! All because of a network that wasn’t ready for the traffic they pretended it could handle!

A few years down the road, Valiant is still using his V-Touch 16GB Portable Media Player. He’s got a big inheritance from his grandmother, and his cousin has given him a great job, because they are close, and he’s healthy, because he eats salads. But Jerkface is alone, penniless, and in a horrible part of town with no signal and no family and no friends and even his cat ran away because Jerkface tried to eat him because there was no other way to get food.

So this Christmas, don’t be a Jerkface! Get the V-Touch 16GB Portable Media Player for your loved ones.

Ships via FedEx 2 Day Express to arrive in time for Christmas

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 1 Year Visual Land

V-Touch VL-885 Media Player Features:

• Movies, music, pictures, text files and more all at the touch of a finger
• 2.8” Color TFT touch screen
• Easy to use navigation system
• 16GB Built-In Flash Memory
• Drag and Drop file transfer, can be used as a USB Mass Storage Device
• Expandable MiniSD Card Slot (to 16GB)
• 2.0 Megapixel Digital Camera records stills and video
• Camera also works as a webcam when connected to a computer through the USB port
• Video Playback: AVI / MP4 / 3GP
• Audio Playback: MP3 / WMA / WAV
• Supported Formats include AVI,3GP, MP4, MP3, WMA, WAV, AAC, JPG, GIF, BMP
• FM Tuner with presets and internal recording
• Voice Recorder with 35 hours of recording at a 8khz rate
• Voice mode with selected content repeat function (A-B mode)
• Built-in speaker for those who choose not to use headphones
• Picture Viewer
• E-Book Functions
• .Irc format supported to show lyrics
• Equalizer with Normal, 3D, Rock, Pop, Classic, Bass, Jazz, Custom settings
• Repeat modes include Normal, Repeat Once, Repeat One, Repeat All, Repeat Folder, Random, Intro
• Rechargeable battery with approximately 6 hours of playing time when fully charged; approximately 8 hours charging time through USB port
• 5 MB per second file transfer speed
• 85db SNR
• 10mW + 10mW output power
• Output range of frequency is 20Hz – 20 KHz
• USB 2.0 PC interface
• Includes standard in-ear headphones
• Unit weight: 4 ounces
• Unit dimensions: 3.5” X 2.25” X 0.5”

Visual Land SSB-10 In-Ear Headphones Features:

• 3.5 mm plug fits most standard MP3 players, CD Players, Personal Computers, and other listening devices
• 10mm Drivers
• NdFeB Magnet Type
• 20 – 20,000 Hz Frequency
• 32 ohms Impedance
• 30mW Max Input Power
• 100 dB Sensitivity
• OFC Cord Type
• 39” Cord Length
• Surround Superior Bass
• 3 Different Size Cushions for Custom Fit
• Includes Protective Carrying Case
• Stylish Design

In the box:

• VL-885 16GB Portable Media Player
• SSB-10 In-Ear Headphones
• USB Cable
• A/C Charger
• Standard In-Ear Headphones with Additional Set of Ear Cushions
• Stylus
• User Manual
• Drawstring Carry Case
• Driver on Mini CD
• Three Sizes of Ear Cushions for SSB-10 Headphones