Alexis you have no idea how much it means to me that you invited me as your guest when you won backstage passes to the Asus EeePC 10.1” Netbook concert! So. Totally. Hawt! I read in Tiger Beat that he’s got, like, 9.5 hours of battery life. Can you imagine? I would totally listen to him sing that entire time and not even breathe once.

It’s so adorable that his camera is only 1.3 megapixels but he’s all, “This is who I am,” about it. I think his single stereo speaker is soooooo cute! My mom tells me not to go for guys who have three USB ports and two audio jacks because they’re trouble, but Asus is different. He’d never want to hurt me. Any time I feel sad I just gaze at his poster on my wall. Sometimes it’s like I’m really there staring into his LED WSVGA screen with 1024×600 resolution. OMG Alexis you are cuh-razy! But yeah, I’ve thought about it too. I bet he’s got an Intel Atom N280. No way! YOU would! Whatever!

I heard that the record label totally wanted him to go Vista, but he was all, “No way, XP is the only OS I’ll ever come with.” That is soooo amazing how loyal he is! He’s such a rebel! And, like, he totally has MS Office Home & Student 2007 so he can do smart stuff, but it’s only a trial version so you know he’s not like a total dork or something.

Alexis this concert is totally going to rock! Do you think he lip syncs?

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 90 Day Asus

Features:

Eee PC 1000HE Specifications

• Available in Black or Blue (You Choose)
• Battery: 6-Cell 62Wh Li-ion Battery, 9.5 hours
• Operating System: Genuine Windows® XP Home
• Display: 10.1” LED Backlight WSVGA screen (1024×600)
• Intel® Atom N280 1.66 GHz
• Memory: 1GB (DDR2)
• Hybrid Storage: 160GB HDD
• Super Hybrid Engine offers a choice of performance and power consumption modes for easy adjustments according to various needs
• Camera: 1.3M Pixel
• Audio: Hi-Definition Audio CODEC
• Stereo speaker
• Digital Array Mic: 2 powerful mics reduce ambient noise and echoes for clearer voice recording
• Wireless Data Network: WLAN 802.11b/g/n
• Bluetooth: BT-253; v2.1 + EDR supported
• Pre-installed with Microsoft Office Home & Student 2007 60-day Trial
• 1 x VGA Port (D-sub 15-pin for external monitor)
• 3 x USB 2.0
• 1 x LAN RJ-45
• 2 x Audio Jack (Head Phone / Mic-in)
• Card Reader: MMC/ SD(SDHC)
• Dimensions: 10 1/2” (W) x 7” (D) x 1 1/4” (H)
• Weight 1.45 kg

Eee PC 1005HA Specifications:

• Available in Black or Blue (You Choose)
• Battery: 6-Cell 63Wh Li-ion Battery (10.5 hours)
• Operating System Genuine Windows® XP Home
• Elegantly beautiful seashell-inspired design
• Display: 10.1” LED Backlight WSVGA Screen (1024×600)
• Intel® Atom™ N280 1.66 GHz
• Memory: 1GB DDR2 SO-DIMM
• Hybrid Storage: 160GB HDD
• Super Hybrid Engine increases power efficiency and battery life
• Wireless Data Network: WLAN 802.11b/g/n @2.4GHz
• Bluetooth: BT-253; v2.1 + EDR supported
• Camera 1.3M Pixel
• Audio Hi-Definition Audio CODEC
• Stereo speaker
• Digital Array Mic: 2 powerful mics reduce ambient noise and echoes for clearer voice recording
• Pre-installed with Microsoft Office Home & Student 2007 60-day Trial
• 1 x VGA Port (D-sub 15-pin for external monitor)
• 3 x USB 2.0
• 1 x LAN RJ-45
• 2 x Audio Jack (Head Phone / Mic-in)
• Card Reader: MMC/ SD(SDHC)
• Ergonomic keyboard with larger keys for easier typing and comfort
• Multi-touch pad for easy zoom in/out for better picture and document viewing
• Eee Docking: Intuitive Software Suite
• Dimensions(Closed): 10 1/2” (W) x 7” (D) x 1 1/4” (H)
• Weight 1.27Kg (with 6-Cell Battery)

In the box:

• Asus 10.1” Netbook
• 6-Cell Battery
• A/C Adapter and 2-Prong Power Cable
• XP Support DVD
• User’s Guide

Inset photo credit: marfis75

Inset photo credit: marfis75

Inset photo credit: marfis75

Inset photo credit: marfis75

This Too Must Pass

Well, little 3G iPhone, you’ve done it. You’ve lived long enough to cross the cultural line from “bleeding edge” to “average joe”. You’re no longer a magical toy that can only be found in Apple stores.  Welcome to joy of being a mid-range product!

Of course, you’ll need to attach yourself to an AT&T plan, which is not included with your purchase. And if you Jailbreak yourself, that’s all on you, and don’t come crying to us when you turn into a brick. But once you find your way onto a network, you’re going to be handling GPS, email, the Internet, texts, video, photos, music, you’ll have eight gigs of storage space, and handle everything a brand new iPhone can do! Except for all that brand new iPhone stuff, of course. You’ll never be able to do that.

But for a person who doesn’t want a compass or whatever, you’re the perfect little iPhone to get for cheap. So don’t sweat it, 3G iPhone. There’s always someone younger and prettier out there. There’s absolutely no shame in growing old. You just have to do it gracefully. And you know what? We think you’re still pretty wonderful even now.

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• Phone, 8GB iPod, and Internet device in one, iPhone 3G offers desktop-class email, Google Maps, and Internet browsing
• With its large Multi-Touch display and innovative software, iPhone lets you control everything using only your fingers
• iPhone responds to motion using a built-in accelerometer. When you rotate iPhone from portrait to landscape, the accelerometer detects the movement and changes the display accordingly
• When you lift iPhone to your ear, the proximity sensor immediately turns off the display to save power and prevent accidental dialing. The ambient light sensor in iPhone automatically brightens the display when you’re in sunlight or a bright room and dims it in darker places
• Find your location quickly and accurately via GPS, Wi-Fi, and cellular towers. Drop a pin to mark your location or share it with others via email or MMS
• Keyboard accelerates your typing because it tracks what you type, then suggests words, corrects spelling, and inserts punctuation for you. It even learns the words you use most often
• View a list of turn-by-turn directions or follow a highlighted map route and track your progress with GPS
• Quick and easy to cut, copy, and paste words and photos, even between applications
• Rotate to landscape to use a larger keyboard in Mail, Messages, Notes, and Safari
• Send SMS and MMS messages and include photos, audio, locations, and contact info
• Spotlight searches all your contacts, email, calendars, and notes, as well as everything in your iPod
• Capture a memo, a meeting, or any audio recording on the go. Voice Memos works with the built-in iPhone mic or with the mic on your headset
• Discover tens of thousands of apps that let you do even more with the iPhone. Browse apps in categories from games to business, finance to fitness, and more
• Access the iTunes Store over cellular or Wi-Fi networks. Then browse millions of songs or browse movies, movie rentals, TV shows, music videos, audiobooks, podcasts, ringtones — even college lectures from iTunes U
• Home screens give you one-tap access to everything on iPhone,even when you’re on a call. Customize your Home screens with your favorite applications and websites

Size and weight:

• Height: 4.5 inches (115.5 mm)
• Width: 2.4 inches (62.1 mm)
• Depth: 0.48 inch (12.3 mm)
• Weight: 4.7 ounces (133 grams)

Cellular and wireless:

• UMTS/HSDPA (850, 1900, 2100 MHz)
• GSM/EDGE (850, 900, 1800, 1900 MHz)
• Wi-Fi (802.11b/g)
• Bluetooth 2.0 + EDR wireless technology

Location:

• Assisted GPS
• Wi-Fi
• Cellular

Power and battery:

• Built-in rechargeable lithium-ion battery
• Charging via USB to computer system or power adapter
• Talk time: Up to 5 hours on 3G Up to 10 hours on 2G
• Standby time: Up to 300 hours
• Internet use: Up to 5 hours on 3G Up to 6 hours on Wi-Fi
• Video playback: Up to 7 hours
• Audio playback: Up to 24 hours

Display:

• 3.5-inch (diagonal) widescreen Multi-Touch display
• 480-by-320-pixel resolution at 163 ppi
• Support for display of multiple languages and characters simultaneously

Audio playback:

• Frequency response: 20Hz to 20,000Hz
• Audio formats supported: AAC, Protected AAC, MP3, MP3 VBR, Audible (formats 2, 3, and 4), Apple Lossless, AIFF, and WAV
• User-configurable maximum volume limit

Video playback:

• Video formats supported: H.264 video, up to 1.5 Mbps, 640 by 480 pixels, 30 frames per second, Low-Complexity version of the H.264 Baseline Profile with AAC-LC audio up to 160 Kbps, 48kHz, stereo audio in .m4v, .mp4, and .mov file formats; H.264 video, up to 2.5 Mbps, 640 by 480 pixels, 30 frames per second, Baseline Profile up to Level 3.0 with AAC-LC audio up to 160 Kbps, 48kHz, stereo audio in .m4v, .mp4, and .mov file formats; MPEG-4 video, up to 2.5 Mbps, 640 by 480 pixels, 30 frames per second, Simple Profile with AAC-LC audio up to 160 Kbps, 48kHz, stereo audio in .m4v, .mp4, and .mov file formats

Camera and photos:

• 2 megapixels
• Photo geotagging
• iPhone and third-party application integration

Sensors:

• Accelerometer
• Proximity sensor
• Ambient light sensor

Mac system requirements:

• Mac computer with USB 2.0 port
• Mac OS X v10.4.11 or later
• iTunes 8.2 or later (free download from www.itunes.com/download)
• iTunes Store account
• Internet access

Windows system requirements:

• PC with USB 2.0 port
• Windows Vista; or Windows XP Home or Professional with Service Pack 2 or later
• iTunes 8.2 or later (free download from www.itunes.com/download)
• iTunes Store account
• Internet access

In the box:

• Apple MB046LL/A 8GB 3G iPhone
• USB Cable
• Earbuds

One minute, I’m out on the dance floor, glow sticks in hand, pacifier in my mouth, listening to the crowd chant “Star Boy, Star Boy, Star Boy” over and over again while I flail away to Moby’s “Feeling So Real”. Next thing I know, I’m huddled in a corner trying to protect myself from all the cyborg lizard people by shooting rays of light from my hands. Bad mojo, man. Bad mojo.

That’s when I got my life together. No more strange tablets for me, especially not ones shaped like apples. I decided to keep my self grounded with one of these Gateway LT3103 11.6” Netbooks. Available in Red or Black with Windows Vista Home, a 11.6” HD 1366×768 resolution display, 250GB of hard drive space, and 2GB DDR2 533MHz SDRAM Single Channel Memory, they’re great for low-intensity use like web surfing, video chat via the integrated webcam, or watching Netflix on the go.

Don’t get me wrong. I still like to dance to the sweet, sweet “oontz oontz”. My days of taking tablets from strange men in black turtlenecks, however, is over.

Warranty: 90 Day Gateway

Features:

• Processor: AMD Athlon™ 64 L110 Single-Core Processor (1.2GHz, 800MHz FSB, 512KB L2 Cache)
• Operating System: Genuine Windows Vista® Home Basic (32-bit) with SP1
• Display: 11.6” HD WXGA Ultrabright™ LED-backlit Display (1366×768 resolution, 16:9 aspect ratio)
• Video: ATI Radeon® X1270 graphics with 256MB HyperMemory
• Memory: 2048MB DDR2 533MHz SDRAM Single Channel Memory
• Hard Drive: 250GB SATA hard drive
• Wireless Network: 802.11b/g Wi-Fi
• Adapter: AC Adapter
• Application Software: Microsoft® Works, Microsoft® Money Essentials, Microsoft® Office Home and Student 2007 (60-day complimentary trial period)
• Battery: 6-Cell Lithium Ion (5200mAh)
• Chassis: Chassis with ATI Radeon® X1270 Graphics and AMD RS690E Chipset8
• External Ports: (3) USB 2.0, VGA Connector
• Keyboard and Mouse: Keyboard with Multi-Gesture Touchpad
• Media Card Reader: Multi-in-1 Digital Media Card Reader (Memory Stick®, Memory Stick Pro™, MultiMediaCard, Secure Digital™, xD-Picture Card™)
• Network: 10/100 Ethernet LAN (RJ-45 port)
• Security Software: Norton Internet Security™ 2009 (60-day trial) & Gateway Recovery Management
• Sound: High-Definition Audio Support, Built-In speakers, Microphone, Headphone (with Dolby® Headphone Technology)/Speaker/Line-Out Jack
• Web Camera: 0.3 Megapixel Integrated Webcam
• Weight: 3.04 lbs. (1.38 kg) system unit only / 3.93 lbs. (1.78 kg.) box
• Dimensions (Box): 3.1” (H) x 14.8” (W) x 10.1” (D)
• Dimensions (System) 1.03” (H) x 11.26” (W) x 7.99” (D)

In the box:

• Your Choice: Gateway LT3103 1.2GHz 1.2Ghz/2GB/250GB/WC/VHB/6C/11.6” Netbook (Black) or Gateway LT3114U Red L110 1.2Ghz/2GB/250GB/WC/VHB/6C/11.6” Netbook (Red)
• Power A/C Cord
• 6-Cell Lithium Ion Battery

As you know, our mission is to help every student develop into the best student he or she can be. We usually enjoy having your son 32LB30Q with us. He gets solid grades in Resolution (1366×768), Response Time (5 ms) and Inputs (2 HDMI). And his extra-credit project on digital 3D comb filtering and noise reduction was impressive.

But in order to carry out our mission, we must first ensure an orderly classroom environment. The original boxes 32LB30Q has been wearing lately do not meet school standards and cause disruptions in the classroom. Some of them are torn and badly wrinkled. Some have been covered in shipping labels and RMA stickers. And some, frankly, we don’t know what they’ve been through.

We understand that this may be a sensitive issue, given 32LB30Q’s Refurbished heritage. Please understand that we do not discriminate based on any child’s background. We must insist on the same standards for all our students. Please put 32LB30Q in a new, sturdy, cardboard box before you ship him back to us. We hope to see him again soon, especially since we’ve had to start watching our stories in regular resolution.

Thank you -

Kathleen LaPicnirp
Principal
Franklin D. Kennedy Elementary School

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• 31.5” LCD 720p HDTV with 1366×768 resolution and 5ms response time
• 2 HDMI inputs
• ATSC 64&256QAM, 8VSB built in tuner
• Digital 3D Comb filter and Noise reduction

Specifications:

• Display Area: 32”
• Display Type: LCD
• Aspect Ratio: 16:9
• Contrast Ratio: 12000:1
• Resolution: 1366×768
• Response Time: 5 ms
• Signal Compatibility: 720p
• Screen Refresh Rate: 60Hz

Inputs:

• S-Video: 1
• VGA: 1
• HDMI In: 2
• Component: 2
• Antenna: 1
• Video: 1
• Audio Input (AV): 1
• 3.5mm Mini Jack: 1
• SPDIF: 1

Additional Photos:

• Proscan 32LB30Q 32” HDTV
• Rear Ports
• Side Controls
• Remote Control
• Box

Dimensions:

• With Stand: 795×230 x 595 (mm)
• Weight: 16kg

In the box:

• Proscan 32LB30Q 32” HDTV
• Power Cable
• Remote Control

Inset photo credit: threephin

For example, there’s Spat Tula, the Egyptian. She works in pieces designed to get under the raw part of what you know and then flip it, to show you the well-finished underbelly. And then the man known only as Tongs, who works in pick-up. He’s very mysterious, some people say he’s royalty, while others call him a ne’er-do-well. And then there’s champagne. Don’t mind if I do!

Across the room, it’s Forksie, the graffiti artist. He’s sort of overrated if you ask me. But Ba Sting is going to be someone to watch. Did you know that Ba Sting did that wonderful job on the chicken recently? Oh, it was a masterful study of moistness. Speaking of moistness, more champagne?

Yes, the world of Cuisinart is hard to break into, but once you’re in, everyone adores you. And you know what else is adorable? This champagne! What? No, I’m not paying the suggested donation, what’s wrong with you? Do you think I’m crazy?

Warranty: 1 Year Cusinart

Features:

• Includes chef’s spatula, professional grill tongs, chef’s fork and silicone basting brush
• Durable stainless steel construction
• Comfortable Santoprene rubberized grip
• Large ergonomically designed handle
• Store your prized Cuisinart Grilling Tools in the deluxe storage bag

CS-103 Chef’s Spatula Features:

• Serrated edge for slicing meat
• Integrated bottle opener
• Grease channels for healthier grilling
• 17 Inches long

CT-102 Professional Grill Tongs Features:

• Extra wide notched gripping surface
• Integrated scooper for vegetables and sauces
• Ideal for use on grilling platters and toppers
• 17 1/2” Inches long

CF-101 Chef’s Fork Features:

• Middle prong designed for easy handling of hot dogs and sausages
• Oversized handle keeps hands away from heat
• 18” Inches long

CBB-106 Silicone Basting Brush Features:

• Designed to help add those essential finishing touches to your grill creations without all the pains
• Angled head makes applying sauces easy
• Oversized handle keeps hands away from heat
• Drip cover prevents sauces from dripping
• Durable, heat resistant silicone bristles
• Removable dishwasher safe brush head
• Durable stainless steel construction
• Comfortable Santoprene™ rubberized grip
• Large ergonomically designed handle
• 17” Inches long

In the box:

• Chef’s Spatula
• Grill Tongs
• Chef’s Fork
• Silicone Basting Brush
• Deluxe Storage Bag