“Look at you, with your fancy GPS-a-ma-bob!” you cackle. “Whatever happened to a good old-fashioned map, eh?”

I’ll tell you what happened to it, gramps. It disintegrated in the Spring thaw, still clutched in the dessicated hand of the hiker who died of exposure in December trying to figure out which way to turn it.

When it comes to outdoor gear, this brand of technophobia comes almost exclusively from comfortable indoor-enthusiast types who haven’t slept outside in decades, if ever. (We’re talking about overnights here. Accidentally dozing off in a lawn chair doesn’t count.)

Look, I’m all for the old-fashioned ways. I take a map with me almost every time I step off the paved parts of this world. What’s more, I know how to read it. I’ve usually even gone over it ahead of time. Good for me. Good for cartography. Good for printing on wood pulp.

But that doesn’t mean I have to look down my nose with disdain at new tools that come along. Particularly if they’re as sweet as Bushnell’s ONIX 350 GPS. It uses georeferenced satellite images, meaning that when I download a satellite photo to it, that photo is instantly georeferenced to the sat network for navigation. It adjusts for my heading and location and gives me an accurate picture of the terrain. It’s got a Wide Area Augmentation Systems (WAAS) enabled receiver, giving me accuracy up to just three meters 95% of the time. Plus it’s encased in rugged rubber armor like the latex-bondage-era Batman.

That thing might save my life someday. And I’ve got to take guff about it from some geezer who doesn’t trust newfangled gadgets because he can’t figure out how to retrieve his voicemail?

In fact, my Bushnell ONIX 350 could very well be the device that allowed us to have this friendly argument over a nice hot dinner at home. Let’s say you’d accompanied me on my Sunday hike this weekend. Let’s say we’d suffered some misfortune. Let’s say we hadn’t brought my ONIX along.

Why, right about now, instead of trying to convince me how useless technology is and how helpless it makes people who rely on it, you’d be trying to convince me the taboo against eating human flesh applies even in desperate, survival-stakes situations.

Mmm, survival steaks.

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 1 Year Bushnell

Features:

• Extra-large 3.5” full color LCD with 320×240 resolution
• Downloads and displays georeferenced satellite photography
• Georeferenced satellite images, give you an accurate portrayal of relative distance when viewing your position in relation to waypoints and visible landmarks
• TruView Navigation exclusive screen layering, referencing the landmarks around you to those on your LCD, you can explore new territory with the competence of someone who’s trekked the land for years
• Runs continuously for up to 30 hours (depending on model) on one set of batteries. SafeTrack puts the display to “sleep” to save power while maintaining satellite connection behind the scenes
• Bushnell-exclusive screen-layering, layer a satellite photo, or a topographic map, and all navigational aids in perfect harmony on a single screen. Even use it to view your trail. No more switching back and forth from map to compass. Layer your compass right on top of your map
• Topographic Maps, shows the grade and elevation data for a certain part of the earth, in addition to other physical and manmade features
• Wide Area Augmentation Systems. This is a network of satellites and ground stations providing GPS signal connections that enhance accuracy, WAAS-enabled receiver is accurate to 3 meters 95% of the time
• Solunar Edge Technology, provides you with the ability to determine the absolute best predictor of animal and fish activity
• SiRF Star III 20channel GPS receiver
• Self calibrating 3-axis digital compass
• Embedded 512MB micro SD card
• Elevation profiles
• Barometric Pressure & Temperature Sensors
• Rugged rubber armor
• Waterproof (IPX7 rated)

Additional Photos:

• Bushnell ONIX 350 GPS
• Profile View
• Retail Box

Specifications:

• Number of Waypoints: 1,000
• Number of Routes/Trails: 50
• User Memory: 512 MB, expandable
• Battery Life (SafeTrack): 32 hours
• Display Size (Inches): 3.5 diagonal
• Display Type: Full Color LCD
• Pixels (H x W): 320×240
• GPS Chipset: SiRF Star III
• USB Connection: Yes
• Unit Weight: 9 oz.
• Audible Alarms: Yes
• Waterproof Standard: IPX7
• Unit Size (Inches): 6.9×3.1×1.7
• Backlit Display Modes: Yes
• WAAS Capability: Yes
• Waypoint Icons: User Profile

In the box:

• Bushnell ONIX 350 GPS
• A/C Charger
• USB Cable
• Rechargeable Battery
• 512mb MicroSD Card
• Lanyard