Y’know, the office is usually pretty quiet. Every once in awhile, though, I’ve got to light these Woot USB Flashing Police Lights up and rain on someone’s crime parade. Most of the time it’s small stuff: paperclips go missing, pens walk off, you know.

Sometimes, though, it gets serious. I’m talking coffee pot not refilled, lunches eaten, real deal serious stuff. Once, at an office party, I had a 503: butt on a photocopier. Had to call in for backup, but after a pretty tense standoff we were able to bring in the perp.

Oh, man, I just got an email: we’ve got a 298 in progress. Someone’s taking the last cruller from the breakroom!

Let’s roll.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• Each light has its own ON/OFF switch
• You can run just red, just blue, or both together
• No batteries needed, just connect USB cable to your computer for power

In the box:

• (1) Set of Woot Revolving Police Lights

Like, with Feedbag here, that’s his nickname, right? And me and Feedbag, we go out, and we eat wings and fart and laugh, and we’re, like, straight up. But then I get these Cleveland Ladies Golf Clubs, and they’re, you know, flexible and they’ve got a springy shaft and they’re designed to help with a weak fade or slice, but, like, we know they’re a 5 Wood with a 22 degree loft or a 7 wood with a 25 degree slice, but some of them say something totally different. And that’s crazy! Why would a golf club have to lie? I’ll tell you why. Because it’s a ladies golf club.

I know, I know, that’s sexist or whatever, but hey, my man Feedbag and I, when we go out, it’s all what it is, you know? It’s no trying to figure out what club is telling the truth and what club is all crazy in the head. After a pitcher of beer, when Feedbag sits on my lap and starts making out with me, I know, right? I know he really cares. Because that’s what bros do. They look out for each other. They don’t make stuff up and leave you guessing. So hey, you take the Cleveland Ladies Golf Clubs all you want. Me? I’m taking hold of something else from now on. Sorry, Cleveland Ladies Golf Clubs. You’ve driven me away for good.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• Designed specifically for women who consistently hit a weak fade or slice
• The offset makes it easier for golfers to more easily rotate the clubhead at impact, thus reducing the tendency to slice
• Lightweight graphite shafts made specifically for women
• Womens style shaft flex
• For right handed golfers
• Master Wrap golf grip with extra tacky surface for gripping traction
• Choose between a 5 wood with 19 degrees loft, or a 7 wood with 22 degrees loft

Additional Photos:

• Club Face
• Club
• Club Grip
• Club Shaft with Flex Graphics
• 5 Wood Head Cover
• 7 Wood Head Cover

In the box:

• Cleveland Ladies W-Series Offset Fairway Wood (Choose either 5 Wood or 7 Wood)
• Clubhead Cover